Tag Archives: Goodbye

Why Expect a ‘Goodbye’, When You Haven’t had a ‘Hello’

24 Aug

since january.

i officially left my old job to transition into my new job today.  it was more of a paperwork drill than anything else, as i’ve already been working the new job since the end of april.  i was just “on loan” during that time, while the details of how that would work sorted themselves out.  so, today was the last day i went back to that office to give them all my stuff and say, “peace out.”

i can’t say that i expected the program manager to acknowledge my existence on this planet, but it is still baffling to me that he hasn’t.  since january.  in fact i am not sure if he did prior to then, but i know that at the end of january i left on travel for a month and when i returned in march, he didn’t even say hello.  i was gone for a month and he couldn’t even bother a hello.  sure, maybe he didn’t see me.  except that he did.  several times he walked right by me that first day back.  and the next days.  it got to be a game.  when would he become human and provide a simple greeting of some sort.  it never happened.

he did once or twice talk to someone else about a request i made within the course of my work, without coming to me directly, which prompted me to walk over and engage the conversation with him.  but never in four months [or any of them since] did he manage a simple hello. hi. how are you? or any other cursory greeting.  while i provided him plenty of opportunity [not on purpose, just sheer fact of working in a program office together], not a word was said. at the end, and the only time i did this, i avoided an encounter at the door with him just so i wouldn’t have to break our ridiculous silence by saying “thank you”.

really, even all of that should not have come as a surprise.  after my mother went into the hospital and ultimately passed away after my wedding, i was sending emails back to work keeping them apprised of the situation [while he was transitioning into the program manager position, newly appointed].  not once in all of that did he ever send a single word back.  not a ‘take all the time you need’. nor a ‘do what you need to do’.  heck, he could have sent something simple and easy such as ‘i’m sorry’ or heck ‘i understand’ or for those with no empathy ‘roger’.  instead he wrote not a word.  not a single world.

i did give him the benefit of the doubt.  he was new.  he had lots of emails flooding his inbox each day, perhaps he didn’t see the messages i sent.  okay.  i get it. but no, no.  when i finally came back to work i got to hear from him several times how he read everything.  everything.  every. single. piece. of. information. that came his way. he read. he read it all.

so today, when he did not manage to utter a single word to me, not a hello or a goodbye, when he passed by on my very last day, i should not have been surprised.


I wrote this just now for other purposes, but I wanted you to know I am still here and I am in the middle of some craziness right now.  I will have time to be more attentive tomorrow and to thank all of you for the support you’ve given then.  I promise I’m not ignoring you.


Farewell to the Center of the Universe

6 Aug

The Bad:

It is hard to say goodbye to the first place you’ve ever owned.  The first place you’ve staked your claim.  Where you first lived as a couple, as an engaged couple, as a married couple.  However untraditional.

The first house I purchased.  Yes, it was *my* purchase in case it didn’t work out.  I loved it.

It was a place my mother fretted over, once she knew of it.  The place she never got to visit, to see of my life and an accomplishment.  The place, in the end, she wished she had lived. My first stake and she never got to be a part of it, except electronically.

I left it there today.  In Ashland, VA.  The Center of the Universe.


The Good:

So, it turns out when you feel like you’re leaving something behind, it is quite possibly definitely something important, like your clothes.  All of them [or the ones the movers didn’t pack, but what you plan to keep as a wardrobe in your new house].  Shit.  Luckily, I managed to grab those at the very end and find somewhere to stuff them… Sounds easier than it was.

Then the two [of four] puppies and I set out for Michigan and left behind our Virginia house.  While I freaked out for 10 hours thinking I had a tick on my head,


Kissing a Killer Commute Goodbye

10 Jul

Last night the husband and I went to The Jefferson Hotel restaurant, Lemaire, to celebrate the end of his tour at this duty station.  More like, the end of his hellacious commute.  See up until yesterday the husband drove from Richmond, VA to Norfolk, VA and back every work day.  For the unfamiliar, that’s 1.5 to 2 hrs each way every day.  About 4 crazy hours on the road.

He hated it.  But he did it because I’m too awesome to stay away from for more than a workday.

Honestly, before this tour began [which was also before we got married] I told him that he did not need to do that.  I told him to geo-bachelor it, to come home only on the weekends.  He would hear nothing of it.  I told him he could re-negotiate at any point and time, but he never did.  He stuck it out all those days.  All of those brutal days.

So we celebrated with fried pickles, wine [me], whiskey [him] and a delicious burger.  The Lemaire bar at the beautiful Jefferson Hotel is the best.  It’s something we are really going to miss when we leave here.  Which the husband does on Thursday.  I leave on the following Thursday, but only temporarily.  We’ll see when I get to join him.