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I’m a Bad, Bad Blogger

14 Sep

I’m hoping that will change now that I have an iPad app that allows me to read and write. Who knows, I say that every time.

The truth is my life is insane. I don’t have “that much” going on, but yet I have so much. I’ve got a job that’s intense [though who knew it would be]… and I’m working on my MBA. Our house needs work. I have lots of travel [work and personal]. I haven’t even added in going to the barn to ride my horse or workout… OR do anything else… because I haven’t…

It’s sad. I need to do those things, but even the mundane details take so.much.time. Example: Yesterday I spent 1.5 hrs on the phone during my drive home trying to accomplish 1 “simple” thing. Change the insurance policy on our VA house to a landlord policy.

Instead of that being me getting quotes, it turned into that plus changing my name at Suntrust FOR THE THIRD TIME, getting our mortgage address information corrected FOR THE SECOND TIME, and finding out that the policy I chose does not work with our mortgage [AFTER I chose it]. I still do not have a resolution to it and that’s the thing… EVERY. SINGLE. THING. takes a millions steps….

I don’t want to sound bitter and ranting, but I am a little. The thing is I have *so* much to do that it would be nice if just *one* thing was simple. Just one…

So anyway, I am headed to my orientation for my MBA. It’s going to be all “kumbaya” and connecting with the Universe. Just what I need right now. Hopefully, I can get myself centered. Grounded. And in-tune with what I need.

The good news is I will have time to connect with the world again… at least for 6 days.


The Real Deal

29 Aug

On 15 August, I drove away from Michigan.  Again.

I drove back to work for a meeting.  Then  I flew back to MI for another meeting and back to VA/DC again.   Ugh.  Work travel.

This whole living in limbo thing is killing me.  I checked out of my “old” job last Friday and into my “new” job Monday [it’s all relative as I’ve been working my new job since April].

Thing is, I’m living in the homes of other people or on the empty floor of my vacant house.  I’ve been dealing with all of that.

5 September my house becomes occupied by strangers.  It’s sad.

It’s all sad.  I’m happy for the change.  New job.  New locale.  Outside the Beltway, outside the insanity [but not outside the political pressures of my program], but that’s ok.  It’s all different.  It’s good.  It’s bad.  It’s just sad, in some and many ways.

So, I’m working [through the “transition” and the drama].  I’m grieving the move, my friends, but mostly my mom… still somehow.

That’s me.

I travel back to MI on Friday, but the being “home” is short-lived.  After a week home, I’m back on the road.  For work.  For school.  For work.  Non-stop.  The good with the bad.

Just busy trying to deal, stay afloat and live.

Why Expect a ‘Goodbye’, When You Haven’t had a ‘Hello’

24 Aug

since january.

i officially left my old job to transition into my new job today.  it was more of a paperwork drill than anything else, as i’ve already been working the new job since the end of april.  i was just “on loan” during that time, while the details of how that would work sorted themselves out.  so, today was the last day i went back to that office to give them all my stuff and say, “peace out.”

i can’t say that i expected the program manager to acknowledge my existence on this planet, but it is still baffling to me that he hasn’t.  since january.  in fact i am not sure if he did prior to then, but i know that at the end of january i left on travel for a month and when i returned in march, he didn’t even say hello.  i was gone for a month and he couldn’t even bother a hello.  sure, maybe he didn’t see me.  except that he did.  several times he walked right by me that first day back.  and the next days.  it got to be a game.  when would he become human and provide a simple greeting of some sort.  it never happened.

he did once or twice talk to someone else about a request i made within the course of my work, without coming to me directly, which prompted me to walk over and engage the conversation with him.  but never in four months [or any of them since] did he manage a simple hello. hi. how are you? or any other cursory greeting.  while i provided him plenty of opportunity [not on purpose, just sheer fact of working in a program office together], not a word was said. at the end, and the only time i did this, i avoided an encounter at the door with him just so i wouldn’t have to break our ridiculous silence by saying “thank you”.

really, even all of that should not have come as a surprise.  after my mother went into the hospital and ultimately passed away after my wedding, i was sending emails back to work keeping them apprised of the situation [while he was transitioning into the program manager position, newly appointed].  not once in all of that did he ever send a single word back.  not a ‘take all the time you need’. nor a ‘do what you need to do’.  heck, he could have sent something simple and easy such as ‘i’m sorry’ or heck ‘i understand’ or for those with no empathy ‘roger’.  instead he wrote not a word.  not a single world.

i did give him the benefit of the doubt.  he was new.  he had lots of emails flooding his inbox each day, perhaps he didn’t see the messages i sent.  okay.  i get it. but no, no.  when i finally came back to work i got to hear from him several times how he read everything.  everything.  every. single. piece. of. information. that came his way. he read. he read it all.

so today, when he did not manage to utter a single word to me, not a hello or a goodbye, when he passed by on my very last day, i should not have been surprised.


I wrote this just now for other purposes, but I wanted you to know I am still here and I am in the middle of some craziness right now.  I will have time to be more attentive tomorrow and to thank all of you for the support you’ve given then.  I promise I’m not ignoring you.