I Can’t Even Make This Stuff Up

14 Aug

I had very tall orders for our move.  Self imposed, but tall orders no less.  Not only did I have to pack up and clean out our VA house, I decided it would be good to add:

1.Redo New Kitchen: Refinish Cabinets, Change the countertop, change the countertop and repaint the kitchen.
2. Paint the whole house: It’s 900 sqft, but I thought it would be good to get it done before our movers arrived.
3. Wire house for TV, it is a 1950’s house and has no such hook-ups.
4. Remove the carpet upstairs and replace it with bamboo flooring.
5. Power wash house.
6. Remove the 1950’s special awnings.
7. Replace the roof on the single car garage.
8. Redecorate our bedroom arrangements [new bed stuff].
9. Plan and execute a party for 40 people.
10. Unpack enough of our stuff to have a place for the in-laws and to have a beautiful place for our party.

Did I mention the movers were scheduled to arrive on the 8th of August.  The in-laws arrival scheduled for the 9th.  My husband’s Change of Command ceremony on the 11th.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that qualifies me as certifiably crazy.

Just like all of the best laid plans, everything went to hell in a hand basket.

1. The movers were late on Wednesday.  They didn’t finish unloading until 11pm.  I didn’t get to unpack a single box, contrary to plan.
2. The cabinet hinges were wrong, causing the alignment to be wrong and requiring a re-do [for a later date].  Also found out the contractor was not contracted for the backsplash… and on…
3. My quick minute spent grabbing breakfast Thursday morning was dutifully punished by the dogs biting a box, dragging it down and eating my baking supplies. A box of baker’s chocolate. A bag of chocolate chips. A bag of toffee/chocolate chunks. A bag of brown sugar. A bag of wrapped caramels. A bag of rice [not baking supplies, but “delicious” no less].
4. Instead of unpacking, I got to take our black lab to the animal hospital to treat him for ingesting a toxic amount of chocolate [amongst other things].
5. When I returned home from the animal hospital at 6pm, the other lab was busy vomiting and dealing with toxic chocolate as well.
6. I scrambled to clean up dog puke [at a rate of 15 vomits per 5 minutes] and unpack just enough for the in-laws to have a bed to sleep in for their midnight arrival
7. Midnight became 3 am because the in-laws luggage was lost.
8. The counter-top guy who was supposed to arrive Friday morning, was really scheduled for Friday afternoon.  The plumber who was supposed to arrive Friday afternoon, came Friday morning.
9. The counter-top guy finally came around 6pm, when he was “scheduled” for 2pm.  Counter, but no sink.
10. Unpacked the rest of the day, until 3 am. Slept until 5:30am on Saturday when I had to get ready for the Change of Command.
11. Plumber arrived at noon on Saturday, when we had guests at 3pm.
12. After the Change of Command, I was left alone to clean, set-up for the party and deal with the pending storm that was threatening to bring the whole party in our 900 sqft house.

But we survived. survived.  The chaos.  The disarray.  The complete cluster fuck everything was.   I survived it all.

And now?  I’m done.

There is still much to do, but I’m taking a moment to breath.


9 Responses to “I Can’t Even Make This Stuff Up”

  1. renee is the greatest August 16, 2012 at 07:55 #

    You need some wine 😉

  2. maitchd August 16, 2012 at 10:48 #

    Talk about a stressful time! Things will get done, bit by bit. Don’t forget to take care of yourself first though! You need to be in tip-top shape do get stuff done 🙂

    • nire August 16, 2012 at 14:51 #

      Thanks for the reminder. It can be so way to get lost in the “get everything done now” mentality, especially because I’m such a perfectionist. Sometimes I need to remember to breathe.

      • maitchd August 16, 2012 at 14:52 #


  3. Nicole Michelle August 21, 2012 at 11:07 #

    We just did a cross country PCS, bought a new construction house and traveled with 3 kids under 5. I totally understand where you’re coming from. Don’t forget to take a minute and breathe, you’ll get through it all! Best of luck!

    • nire August 24, 2012 at 23:30 #

      Holy cow, that is a lot to do! I’m glad to hear you survived all of that, especially with all the little ones in tow! You deserve a few minutes of breath yourself! Best of luck to you as well.

      Sorry for my delayed reply [dealing with lots of crazy over here].

      • Nicole Michelle August 25, 2012 at 08:12 #

        Oh no worries! Hope you’re not feeling overwhelmed!

      • nire August 25, 2012 at 20:41 #

        Thanks, I’m trying not to. I’m about 50% successful.

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